Category: Devotionals

Recently my heart was filled with empathy and compassion for a mum who was out shopping with her two daughters. The girls were very close in age, likely to be around three and four. There wasn’t that much difference between me and this mum really, in that we were trying to get some food shopping done, whilst taking care of our little ones as we did it. We had the same purpose, to provide for our children, and to get in and out of that shop as smoothly as possible, and as quickly as possible! It was just after school pick up, so I’ll admit, not the best time to go shopping, hungry children, busy shops and children whose minds are filled with events from their day that they all want to share with you, and they all want to do it at the same time. Whilst you shop, if you haven’t got a list, you are trying to remember what you came in for, at the same time, your children’s little voices (or big!) are bombarding your brain with all sorts of demands and chattering. It can be challenging, but at the same time, you haven’t seen them all day, so you don’t want to discourage them from the infectious buzz of enthusiasm that flows out from them.

Going back to the mum I referred to right at the start, although there wasn’t that much difference between us on the surface or in our mission for that time, stepping back a little from the situation it was clear that this mum had much more to deal with in this moment.

You see, her youngest little girl was screaming, throughout the whole time her mum and eldest daughter were pacing around the isles, her little girl threw herself around the supermarket, on the floor, shouting and screaming so loud that most people who care would think there was something seriously wrong. It wasn’t a ‘normal’ tantrum, and believe me, I’ve seen a few. Discerning the situation, this seemed different. What also struck me was how the mother calmly and patiently moved along with her daughter, with hardly a raised voice and swiftly lifted her up off the floor. It was only when the boxes of beers that were stacked up along the sides of the checkout, (which to be honest, were just in the way), tumbled down into the middle of the isle. It was only then that her patience was stretched a little and the tone in her voice revealed a slight mention of discipline.

Please continue with me, I’m most definitely not criticising this mother. In fact, the complete opposite. It might seem strange if a parent doesn’t intervene when a child is behaving in an uncontrollable way, but the difficulty is, we really don’t know the situation.

What we don’t know……

We don’t know what happened the few moments before to spark off this distressed little girl, we don’t know what approach the mother was taking, we don’t know if the way she was dealing with this situation was a method used to resolve an ongoing struggle with her daughters behaviour, or maybe she had dealt with so much screaming already that she was actually crumbling inside and the only way she could cope was to ignore her child, maybe she was protecting herself from exploding in the middle of the store. Perhaps she had been trying to find the best approach for months on end and nothing seemed to work and she was tired and alone and had had enough of being a mother, (but not really). The list could go on, there are so many possible reasons that might not be apparent to us on the outside.

As a mother, I could see her struggle. It was clear enough that I felt I couldn’t just stand back without saying anything to offer help. It was when I was at the checkout and the supernaturally patient mother had just experienced the collapse of the boxes of beer on the floor whilst she carried her kicking and screaming daughter in her arms and attempted to put her shopping on the belt that I knew this mum had to know how amazing she is. I wanted to bring her a glimpse of hope, some light in her situation.

This world is filled with light when we open our eyes to it, but of course there is much darkness. If we can discern a situation and recognise the need for help, if we can shine a light over someone’s struggle, we are giving them hope. Standing back and turning away is often to easiest option but imagine if we slowed down from our fast-paced life and saw people, if we took our thoughts away from our own struggles for a time and directed our thoughts towards someone else in their struggles, if we gave people more time. The impact on their day could be so powerful. That power all comes from love. Love that comes from God, who loved us first.

‘We love because he first loved us.’ (1 John 4:19)

After going through a season in our family where we rarely had time or made time for devotionals in the morning, we have recently become more intentional about it again. It’s like that, sometimes the consistency falls away and we must change things up a bit. We had been talking together about making time for others and how important it is, it’s helpful to be reminded because we can easily become consumed with our own plans.

We seem to live in a culture where sometimes we avoid getting involved in someone else’s situation in fear of offending them, but what’s the worst that can happen, they can say, ‘No thank you,’ and even if they do get upset with you, their response is likely to only come from a place a stress. Of course, we have to be wise and discerning.

In the end, I did ask this mother if she would like help, and she responded very gratefully with a ‘No thank you.’ It was clear that this type of response from her daughter wasn’t new to her. As we all left the shop, I gave the mum some words of encouragement and she was so thankful. She explained that her daughter has autism and gets upset when they go shopping. As she approached her car with a big smile on her face, I turned away with my eyes filled up with tears, even as I write this, I am choked with empathy and compassion. This mum must keep going, through all the screams and distress that her daughter goes through, she can’t just stop going shopping!

This brief encounter with this mum had such an impact on my heart, it brought back the memories of my struggles as a mother when my two eldest children were very little. There are only fourteen months between them. I remember days where I was crumbing inside, days where people would stand by and watch and look at me struggling with my children, days when all I could do was sit on the living room floor surrounded by their toys, whilst my precious little ones used the settee as soft play, and I fed them potato waffles, cereal and crisps for dinner because emotionally I had nothing left to give, and energy, well, the dinner explains it all. I remember the days when I would fall into darker pits. However, I also remember that there were often days when friends and family would shine a light, bring hope and lift me up, those were the moments that encouraged me, kept me going and made a way for me, giving me sight to see the light in the darkness.

You can read my testimony that speaks more of my struggle with depression during motherhood. Whatever we are going through, nothing is wasted. Difficult times give us more compassion and empathy for others who might be going through similar struggles. We will come out stronger.

Jesus is light, Jesus is hope, Jesus makes a way. The compassion and love that he has for us shines through us to others so that we can then encourage those around us and build each other up.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1: 3-4)

Yes my situation is different to the next person, so I can’t compare exactly, we are all going through unique experiences, but what I can do is show people love and kindness that flows from my own life experiences, and from the love of God, revealing hope though storms and shining light over darkness.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. (John 1:5)

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
He gently leads those that have young. (Isaiah 40:11)

Recently my toddler stirred up in my heart thoughts about they way in which we live each day. This could be in your role as a mother, in your workplace, when you are with family or friends or perhaps in your relationship with your husband. What I noticed about my toddler is the way he responded when I asked him to help his big sister by putting her shoes away! A little act of kindness, but the way he smiled when he did it is what struck me most. He was so willing to please, and he was so sincere. Don’t get me wrong, he is learning to say NO! This is more about how his eager willingness and generous smile brought so much light, and revealed to me a little nudge of how different my day could be if I would be so willing in my actions!

I believe that if we desire to keep shining light, to have a heart that says yes without resistance, to make a difference in our day and to those around us, we should keep our eyes fixed on the one who can show us the way. Jesus is the light, he is the one who will sustain us, and our love for one another will flow through us from Him. My little boy was so thrilled to please his big sister and his mummy in that moment that the joy that came through his action was tangible. When we are walking closely with the Lord, he gives us the strength and the ability to take the right actions, not because it’s an agreement that if we do more, he will love us more, (of course, there are some things we have to do), but doing what we do because of where the desire for that action comes from. The root of it, the heart felt need to take action to love others, because of God’s love for us, this love like no other gives us the desire to carry out what is pleasing to the Lord. It’s not a case of doing what we do to gain more value from God, and as I said, to make God love us more, that’s not what the Christian faith is. When we love Jesus, when we commit our lives to him and ask for his forgiveness for whatever we may have done, and that is ANYTHING, he will know when we truly are seeking his forgiveness and that we have a sincere heart for Him and he WILL forgive us.

I am always blown away by the following bible passage in Colossians 1:15-20

'The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.'

Children love to please their parents, (most of the time!), when they don’t there is more than likely an underlying reason for the retaliation that unravels. I think there is a parallel here, in our relationship with our Heavenly Father. I know I want to please the Lord, because of His love, forgiveness and grace towards me, and knowing what he has done for me, but sometimes feelings, situations in my life, take me away from the desire to please Him. Not because it’s intentional, although to be honest, like a child, and a child of God, I do sometimes retaliate intentionally, but in most situations, because I’ve taken my eyes off him and have become indwelling and less focused. This makes me more susceptible to live the day without willingness and therefore without thankfulness for what’s right in front of me. It’s not good, it takes away what God wants for us, and put a dark cloud over His light.

The bible says in Philippians 4:8 that we are to,
‘Fix our thoughts on what is true, and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. To think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise, and to keep putting into practice all that we have learned.’

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This isn’t going to be possible if we are not keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus. We might think initially that we are doing fine on our own, but eventually, we’ll slip. Jesus stops us from slipping and falling into the trap of thinking we can do it all by ourselves.

When we work willingly at what we do, with Jesus, we will be strong and immovable. We will be able to work enthusiastically for the Lord. We can be encouraged when the bible tells us that nothing that we do for the Lord is ever useless.

The bible reminds us to be thankful, to love one another, to be humble, forgiving, sincere in heart, seek wisdom, be content in all we have and to honour the Lord and seek his kingdom first, and this is not exhaustive. It is quite a chunk to meditate on, isn’t it!? However, seeking the Lord in all of it is the way that we can learn to grow to be more like Jesus and be transformed by the renewing of our mind. We can be more willing, more sincere and more loving in our actions when we acknowledge Jesus in all we do and seek his wisdom for our lives.

I hope this will encourage you and remind you of how much you are loved by God.

Don’t give up today, keep doing the good work you are doing whatever that looks like in your life, and keep seeking Jesus for His guidance and wisdom. He is faithful no matter what your circumstances are right now.

Scripture references

Philippians 4:8, 1 Peter 3:17, Galatians 6:9, Colossians 3:23, 1 Corinthians 15:58, John 8:12, Hebrews 10:22, 1 Thessalonians 5:18, Philippians 4:11, Ephesians 4:2, John 13:34, Psalm 37:5, 1 John 1:9, Hebrews 12:2, Colossians 1:15-20, Romans 12:2.

When I read my toddler a story that has an illustration of an animal in it surrounded by a fence, he always says, ‘stuck’.

When I think about anxiety, I think about being trapped, locked up, or as my son describes when he speaks of the animals in his story books, stuck. Jesus helps me through anxiety. I first experienced anxiety and panic attacks about seven years ago during a difficult time in motherhood. My body was frozen, but my head was spinning. I was sat at the table in my kitchen and the walls began to close in on me. My chest was tight. My breathing was rapid. I couldn’t catch my breath. I thought that all the items on the kitchen worktops were about to be thrown in my direction. At first I couldn’t make a sound, I knew I hadn’t lost my voice, but somehow it just wouldn’t come out. I sat in darkness. Then suddenly, it came. I screamed. I cried in anguish. I screamed more. My husband was downstairs in his workshop. He rushed up the stairs, I can only imagine the thoughts going through his mind, some terrible accident. As he entered the room, his presence changed the atmosphere. His voice and his touch, as he placed his arms around me and I buried my head into his chest, brought a feeling of protection, safety. A strong desire to leave the house came upon me, and I ran down the stairs, I didn’t really want to leave my husband, but it was as thought being outside was the only way I would be able to breath again, to take the air into my lungs. I needed an open door. My mind wasn’t rational, my husband’s mind was. Mine was filled with fear, pain and anxiety. My husband came after me, and I collapsed in tears in a heap on the floor next to the door I was about to run out of. Slowly and gently my husband began to settle my breathing with reassurance and gentleness.

Since then, different situations in my life have caused anxiety to show up. Some of the reasons are obvious to me, on the surface, popping up now and again, like the weeds growing through the cracks in the pavement. Other reasons are much deeper, an accumulation of experiences, traumas in my life that would be triggered at unexpected times. When certain triggers cause anxiety to show up, I know that the open door I need isn’t the front door of my house, but the one Jesus opens, the one that truly sets me free. There are no locks on his door. He his holding out his hands waiting for me to run towards him.

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young, (Isaiah 40:11 NIV).

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One morning, I was praying and seeking Jesus to minister to my heart, to help me with anxiety. I was given a picture. It was a bird that was trapped in a cage.

I was then given another picture; the bird’s cage door was wide open! The bird was sat on the branch of a tree. I can imagine the bird spreading its wings and chirping a beautiful sound in response to being let out of its cage. It was a beautiful picture of freedom and reminded me that when we look to Jesus, he opens the door to freedom. Jesus makes a way.

When we live in fear that drives anxiety, from my own experience, it sets the rational part of our mind off course. It can be difficult to see clearly, it doesn’t just trigger a response within the mind, but it also produces a very physical response, that can freeze our ability to function. When I think of the goodness of the Lord, and then I think of the weight and darkness of anxiety, the two don’t unite. It’s not from God.

From my own experience of anxiety, I know that I must make a choice to fix my thoughts on Jesus when it is triggered. If I don’t, it’s a downward spiral, that can result in falling into a pit. If that does happen, Jesus will lift us out of that pit. He’ll never abandon us, no matter how deep the pit.

How can we fight?

Jesus will take us by the hand and guide us in his light. Drawing closer to him in our struggles is the way towards his truth. Reading God’s word in the bible to fight off our battles with the sword, protecting ourselves with His shield from the flaming arrows that might come our way and try to tempt us, distract us or lead us into a path of destruction away from life, seeking God’s kingdom first and setting our feet on His rock will give us strong foundations so we don’t sink into a pit of despair.

Triggers

The trouble with anxiety, is that it takes us by surprise, it can appear so suddenly. Guarding our hearts and minds, keeping in step with the spirit, reading God’s word and receiving the armour of God are some ways we can be prepared for when those triggers might come. Triggers can’t always be avoided but sometimes we can prevent them by not putting ourselves in situation where we know they might show up.   

Being in a relationship with Jesus means that we are united in him, like any relationship, (not that I’m implying a relationship with Jesus is like ‘any relationship’!) to stay united, to stay connected, we need to be in communication with one another, so praying, listening and hearing what Jesus says to us through His spirit will allow him to minister to our hearts. This opens a door to our hearts to receive his peace and knowledge that he is with us, he is our comforter and helper and won’t let our foot slip when we seek him. Making a choice to receive freedom, and be willing to take his hand and let him guide us will soften our hearts, the darkness of anxiety will be washed away with his gentleness. The huge waves that starts with little explosions of bubbles under the surface, having potential to cause an uncontrollable volcanic reaction that could pour out a lava of emotions that would cover and damage anything in its way, will become soft gentle waves of peace.  Once we get there, our wings will be able to stretch out, and we will be able to fly again. We will be made stronger in Him, and Jesus will teach us His ways through it all, refining us and giving us a beautiful voice again, singing praises to our God.

Is there a mum out there who isn’t stretched for time? We’d all love to be able to say that we are able to routinely sit down each day and make a dedicated time for bible study, but being a mother, responsible for a family and the running of a house, plus a full or part time job on top of this, I can relate that it’s not always a reality. If you are anything like me, you’d quickly agree that there are many seasons in our lives, and we get tired, exhausted, weary and let’s be honest, with all the unexpected situations that crop up in life, consistency can sometimes be an issue. No matter how many lists, charts, calendars, systems or new habits I have put in place, one month I think I am onto a winner, waking up early, ready for the day before the children get out of bed, meal plans and shopping lists sorted, cleaning up to scratch! Then suddenly, I take one look around, and everything is upside down! I know I’m not on my own when I speak in this way about motherhood. I also know not to compare myself to others, I have fallen into that trap before, but I still must be on my guard, and even more so when I am weary. If life is getting too much, if I get overwhelmed, or feel as though everything is out of control, it can sometimes be a trigger for anxiety. One way I know I can protect myself each day is by, yes, remembering that I am not in control, God is, but also by praying and putting on the full armour of God every morning. Not only does this help me to prepare for the day ahead in my role as a mother, but it also protects me from situations that could unexpectedly appear throughout the day. This could be anything that might spark off an unwanted reaction. By acknowledging Jesus and surrendering each day to Him, it allows me to guard my heart and mind, helping to calm my responses to whatever comes my way with the grace that Jesus would respond with. This is an ongoing learning process that I must practice in my walk with Jesus. Remembering to put on His armour each day will ensure that we are beginning our day on strong foundations.

Ephesians 6:10-18

‘Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armour of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 

In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.’

I hope and pray that this will be a blessing to your day.

Who is He?

When we fall, He picks us up.

When we cry, He collects our tears.

When we run ahead, He pulls us back.

When we get lost, He takes our hand and guides us back towards Him.

When we are overwhelmed, He is our refuge and strength.

When we close our eyes and turn our face away, He shines His light on our face and our eyes begin to open again.

When we are in Him, He is in us.

When we call out to Him, He turns to answer us.

When we build our foundations on Him, on the rock of His salvation, He will keep us standing firm.

When we fall into a slimy pit, He will lift us out.

When the storms come, He will still them.

Who is He?

He is called Jesus Christ, and He is the light of the world. He died for us, to set us free. He died so that we may have eternal life.

He is the way.

He is the truth.

He is life.

He is our freedom.

Jesus is our redeemer, God was pleased to dwell in Him and we can know God the Father through our Saviour, Jesus Christ.

You can read more about who Jesus is in the bible.

When we mess up and ask for forgiveness, He will forgive.

Heavenly Father, thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for your promises, they are our protection and armour. I pray that I would hold your promises in my heart and mind Lord Jesus. Forgive me for when I don’t always believe them to be true for my life. Remove the spirit of self-doubt from my heart. When I say I don’t deserve you, you say that I do! Create in me a pure heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me. I am your child. As I live in this world people around me might try to tell me that I am something different to who I have been created to be, even try to tell me that I am not good enough. I know that this is all a lie. Protect me from discouraging words that come into my heart and mind and free me from past words that have crushed my confidence. I am free because of you. Guard my heart and mind and put your armour on me Lord. I am enough and I will not believe words that choke me from producing fruit. You created my inmost being and you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Bring the hope I have in you to life Lord Jesus. Stir up your spirit within me so that I may be willing, committed and wholehearted in all I do for you. Give me your wisdom so that I may spread knowledge of your love and love others in the same way you love. Clothe me in your righteousness so that I live as a child of light, that produces the fruit of goodness and truth. Show me what pleases you, Lord. Open the eyes of my heart to see you. Fill me with knowledge of your will through all wisdom and understanding that the spirit gives, so that I may live a life worthy of you Lord, and please you in every way. I receive your armour of protection today and will shelter under your wings. In Jesus name, Amen.

Psalm 139: 1-6 (NIV)

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. In Jesus name, Amen.

Scripture references: Psalm 139:13-14, Psalm 51:10, Philippians 4:7, Ephesians 6:11, Colossians 1:9-12, Ephesians 1:18, Psalm 91.

When times are tough, we sometimes think that we need to stay strong for everyone around us. We think that we must ‘get over’ a situation, move on. If we dare to consider that we might allow our emotions to be unravelled, the reality of the situation will hit us. That can be a frightening thought, facing the reality of a situation, but sometimes we must walk through it. Thankfully we are never on our own.

There is a place for self-control, to allow us to function in each day and press on, so we are not drawn down to a black hole of miserable self-pity. A place to consider the needs of those around us, and how they might be affected by our responses. However, we also need to make room to allow healing to take place and not become trapped in despair or pretend that we can manage alone.

I know that when I press into Jesus and ask Him to guide me towards the blinding light of His glory, He brings freedom. Not just freedom that shuts the door on my emotions, but freedom that gives me space to allow my emotions to run free, to allow my wounds to be healed with Jesus by my side, not trying to heal in my own strength. Jesus will surround me with the right people, who have the right words.

‘Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.’ Proverbs 16:24

Jesus will go deep into my heart and reveal to me areas that I didn’t even know needed healing. Jesus will gently lead me and bless me with His perfect peace. Jesus will comfort me and surround me with His angels. Jesus will protect me from situations that could hinder my healing. Jesus will give me wisdom to help me respond in the right way when I might feel like screaming, and then sometimes he’ll give me space to scream, to allow the feeling within to be released, to have a heart that says I can’t do this anymore. In those times, Jesus will pick me up and carry me to where He knows I need to rest. Jesus will do this for all His children.

When I fully surrender to Jesus, I take my eyes off my circumstances and direct my eyes on the one who loves me more than I could ever understand, the one who wants to comfort me and heal me. My Father in Heaven.

We need family and friends, people we can trust, those who give us a safe space to share how we feel to release some of our burdens and gather in prayer. We can’t just ignore how we feel, forget it all, leave those open wounds and move on.

There are different stages a wound must go through for it to heal well. Over time, the edges of the wound will eventually come together. Sometimes there is a scar. The complexity of the wound will usually determine the time it takes for the edges to come together.

If we don’t give the wounds the proper care it needs, it will break down even further, and could become infected, which can lead to even more complications that can affect the rest of the body. The wound won’t be able to go through the stages it needs to heal well.

I see it like this, if we move on from a situation in our lives that has caused us grief before we’ve had time to process our hurt, we won’t go through the stages of healing that we were meant to. These stages are PAINFUL. Nobody wants to go through them. If someone is telling us to ‘move on’, we are given a reason to think that we are overreacting or thinking too much about ourselves.

Going through a situation instead of ‘getting over’ is scary. It takes time, and to be honest, it can be very inconvenient for our lives! WHO wants to choose to face that hurt, that pain?

Many years ago, I went on an outdoor activities weekend trip with a friend. It was a trip full of adventure! On one occasion we went caving. Those gaps in the cave were so tight, and the water was absolutely freezing! At one point I was afraid I’d never get through. I had to squeeze through this hole, climb down another, slide my way under what they called ‘a letter box’. The rock was slippery, cold, and wet.

At one point, I had to lay on my back and be pulled through a very narrow gap by my feet whilst freezing cold water trickled down my back. Did I panic, too right I did! Did I get through the other side and out into the light again, without injury, yes! I went through it all and with the help of friends cheering me on, I came out the other side.

When I went through a miscarriage, I felt guilty for feeling emotional about it. Many women don’t open up about their miscarriage, and that is very personnel, completely understood, but that’s not me. I remember seeing a mum with a new-born baby just after I’d found out that our baby had died. I just burst into tears. I felt awful for the mother standing there. I felt guilty for being emotional.

We are allowed to grieve, we are allowed to go through the processes of healing that we need to go through, we shouldn’t look at how quickly one person has moved through a situation and think that should be us too. We shouldn’t tell ourselves that others are in worse off situations than us so we shouldn’t be feeling the way we feel.

If a wound is left open, without the proper care it needs to heal, if we miss the stages it needs to bring those edges together, there will be repercussions. They’ll keep breaking down.

Thankfully God made each of His children unique, and our circumstances are different, but, God knows our needs and we can ask Him how he is going to take us through our own journey in healing however long that might take.

‘He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.’ Psalm 147:3

I wrote this piece just a few weeks ago. After writing it, it was impressed on my heart to share the nuggets of imperfections that are woven through each day. It reveals how these imperfections, no matter how small, eventually bring life. Although, at the time, it doesn’t feel like they are life bringing, in the end, the light shines through each little detail, which is all brought about by love.  

‘The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.’ John 1:5 (NIV)

It had been a long day, packed with plenty of family time enjoyed in the warm sunshine and complemented by the cool breeze. The five of us were feeling the tiredness kicking in following our daughter’s birthday celebration the previous day, making memories together. It was a special time; one we’ll always be able to look back on and be filled with the joy it brought to each of us.  

Today we took time to walk, to shop, to enjoy good coffee, to share a meal together, to play in the park and decided to end the day with an evening stroll along the promenade. We are fortunate to live in a place that is surrounded by beautiful mountains and beaches. Our home is just a very short walk from the seaside town, but just far out enough to be sheltered from what can be a very busy place during the holiday season. I sometimes enjoy the atmosphere that is creates, but usually, I am most content with the quiet. My husband and I lived in the city most of our lives, but shortly after two of our children were born, we moved to this little seaside town, and being here for about eight years now, we do enjoy the slower pace of life.  

Many other families and group of friends had had the same idea for an evening spent walking along the promenade and making the most of the beach in its full glory. You could hear the children laughing as we walked, the smell of barbeques, music coming from the beach and dog walkers letting their companions run free.   

As we walked with our children, I pushed our son in the pram as he enjoyed the fresh air whilst he drank his milk. We decided to speak to the children about Pentacost whilst we walked, instead of having our usual family bible teaching at home, like we try to do most Sundays together. It’s always very relaxed and gives the children the opportunity to ask questions in the comfort of their own home. We usually end up having discussions that we might not have in a more formal setting. It’s a precious time. Pentacost had come up for today’s ‘topic’. The children wanted to know more about what it was.  As we strolled along, I prayed and asked God to reveal himself to us, and spoke words of praise and thankfulness. It made me appreciate being able to walk with the children and my husband and pray out in the open, unlike in some countries where our brothers and sisters must hide away. There was something very freeing about praying as we walked. I can picture Jesus and the disciples doing something similar as they followed Him through the villages healing and casting out demons.  

I was reminded today of the verse: 

Deuteronomy 11:18-19 

‘Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.’ (NIV) 

I must be honest at this point in my writing regarding the picture I paint in your mind as you read. Not the picture of Jesus and the disciples, but the picture of our family during this day. What might come across to some as idyllic, the reality is, woven through the day were nuggets of imperfection, heated conversations between my husband and I, frustrations, discipline, tears, anxiety, selfishness, weariness and testing.  

The heated conversation came about earlier that day before our evening walk along the promenade. My husband and I were discussing when we would have a time of rest. I was trying to work out what that meant in a family of five, that consists of three children, aged ten, nine and almost a year and a half old. I’m still trying to work that out now. Both of us weary, myself from lack of sleep from getting up in the night every night for the last sixteen months to feed our baby, that and well, being a mum, say no more. Then my husband, who has just finished a substantial job in work as a carpenter by trade, but very skilled in pretty much every trade you can think of. He was crashing as the adrenaline following completion of the job began to wear off, that plus the frustratingly annoying effects of the dreaded hayfever.   

Soon after our ‘heated discussion’, our eldest son and daughter began a downward spiralling argument about balloons, which resulted in one of the children breaking into an emotional frenzy that lasted the entire, but thankfully short, car journey to the beach, followed by sulking for the duration of the walk, and the car journey back home, right up until bedtime. Supernatural perseverance and patience must have been provided in the moments during our discussion about Pentacost because I was determined to pray and my husband was determined to teach! Even with discipline along the way. I was thankful to have received patience and to have been carried through the day, even being called ‘such a kind mummy’, and ‘the best mummy in the universe.’ It could have only been through the grace of God that such peace was present after all the little, (but what seemed big) incidences.  

The words of life that the children spoke into my heart were quite a contrast to the previous thoughts I’d had about myself earlier that day. I can hear myself now, speaking words to my husband that labelled me worthless, as he counselled me from my rocking chair in my ‘writing room’, as we all call it.  I guess it was ‘one of those afternoons’, where mentally there had been too much going on for me to have the ability to rationalise and the overwhelming cloud had entered my foggy brain. I’d forgotten to put on the armour. I thought I’d been quietly coping quite well until my husband popped his head through the door of my writing room, and that was it, once I’d opened my mouth, the build-up of emotional bondage was released and spread like fire. It burned until the tears started to flow and the kind, encouraging words my husband spoke slowly began to soften my heart and the tears began to put the flames out. Sometimes it just feels like everyone’s got it together, except you! 

I felt better to a degree after opening my heart and mind to my husband, even though I didn’t intend to burden him with it all. At the same time, I didn’t feel energised at all, I was completely drained. Not too long after this my children wanted to go to the park, but even attaining the idea was a struggle let alone actually going. I just wanted to sit and read my book, alone and quiet. This is why it’s so important to have family and friends who know us well enough to be able to say, ‘come on, get up, we’re going.’ I’m so glad that I did eventually decide to go, it wasn’t much of a sacrifice but selfishly it felt like it at the time. Deep down I wanted to go with my family to the park, I was just ‘flat’. Sometimes we need that space and time and that’s okay, but on this occasion my husband knew better and I really valued his persistence that I join them. The time at the park motivated and energised me back to strength which enabled me to truly enjoy the time – not begrudgingly. My eldest son thanked me for coming, to which I quickly had to put a barrier up from any guilt that was firing my way, and my heart melted towards his precious face as I went in for a hug.  

Going back to our evening walk, my eldest son commented on how today had been, ‘such a good day.’ As I agreed with him, I surprised myself at how far I’d come in this day and a light shone on the way each of us perceive our comings and goings differently.  

I’m so thankful that by the end of the day each child went to bed feeling safe, content and at peace with the day they’d had. As I closed the bedroom door and said ‘goodnight’ with a sigh of relief, I had a glimpse of that word, ‘rest’ in sight. 

No matter how idyllic someone’s day may seem, woven through it are the nuggets of imperfections in life. Each person taking one step in front of the other trying to find a rhythm that will keep them from stumbling, as we are held together by God.  

My ten-year-old son loves to write. He seems to have a natural gift for writing fiction, short stories. When he has finished his masterpiece, he always hands it to me to read through. I look forward to the next story that’s going to be placed in front of my eyes. He waits in anticipation for my response, but never in the same room. Often humble in character, there is a fine line between his humility and having confidence in his ability. In the case of his story writing, I believe it’s a mix of the two.  

Just a few days ago I was greatly encouraged by one of his stories. He writes with adventure in mind, and his descriptive abilities really come through. You can tell that he reads a lot by the way he writes, and as I’ve learnt myself as a writer, reading should come hand in hand with writing.  My son attends a wonderful primary school, the teachers are always looking for ways to bring out each child’s gift. He had to complete a writing project just a few weeks ago. His teacher was very impressed with his writing ability, pointing out that she can tell he reads a lot. It’s true that there is much to be gained by reading. It was a great moment for him and a lovely way for the teacher to build him up.  

It’s so important for children, for us to recognise how they shine and to acknowledge it with affirmation. They really need it, in fact, we all do. Encouragement is powerful. Especially in a world that can be consumed with so much distraction and the fast pace that seems to unravel in each day. We really do need to make conscious efforts to slow down and see the world around us, and particularly to see our children. They grow so quickly, and as a mother I want to be part of that growth by planting seeds of goodness into their hearts. I want to nudge them this way and that so to help them and direct them along the right path. As if on a river, not letting the wind pull them towards the current that sends them towards the muddy water but guiding them gently over the little bumps towards the beautiful ripples of water that feed their soul and quenches their thirst, for a life that allows the seeds in their hearts and minds to sprout and flourish. Producing desires in my children that make them excited to learn and stretch and love and experience life with all the fruit that is available for them to receive. The truth is, they will sometimes fall in the muddy water, and discipline will arise out of this, but with a good solid foundation, the light will overcome and they will be pulled out and onto the gentle ripples once again.  

Speaking of water, that’s exactly what my son had written about in his most recent story that encouraged me. He began the story with what I believe would capture many of our childhood memories, a beach day. Ice cream, sunbathing, beautiful weather, sandcastles and warm sea. Being a short story, this nostalgic picture of a relaxing, fun filled beach day turned quite dramatically and with great contrast to the scene of a disastrous day. As the story tells, the sea went out much further than usual and suddenly came back in with great speed. A giant wave cast a shadow over the beach and everyone ran, but there was no hope, expect for Tony. This giant wave is described in the story as a tsunami. Tony is a character who believes and trusts in God. He believed that God could save all the people. The tsunami was about to destroy and devour everything in its path, when it stopped suddenly. The giant wall of water hovered above all the hundreds of thousands of people. The tsunami succeeded in swallowing up all the buildings, but all the people were fine. Tony knew in his heart that it was God who was holding the tsunami above their heads, and although Tony couldn’t see God in person, he knew he was there.   

I love how reading creates vivid pictures in the mind. A good story makes everything else around you disappear as you enter a world of imagination, deep thought and set the creative part of your mind alight. It’s interesting how the same story can sometimes be interpreted in an individual’s mind in different ways. My son’s story called, ‘Tsunami’, created a vision of a huge wall of water, or wave that was being held up by God protecting all the people. The power of God and his control over everything came through in the story, and I believe it brings to light the awe of God. The story made me think about how sometimes in life everything feels as though it’s falling apart around you. The buildings being swallowed up by the tsunami acting as the metaphor for this. However, no matter what, when you put your trust in God and believe he is with you, he will be your protection. If we look to him and take our eyes off the circumstances we are going through, he will hold up that huge wave that threatens to pull you under. No matter how much everything else seems to be falling away around you, you will still be standing firm on his solid foundation. 

My son ends his story with this,  

‘No matter where you are or who you are with, God will always be there to help you.’